On the first morning of the New Year 2019 I caught myself saying that I ate a whole bunch of food that was “bad”.
Over the holidays I had people in town. I was cooking for them. I was making big meals. I was making sure they were cared for- which is exactly what a woman, a mom, and a good host does.
This morning, with the company all gone, I woke up feeling guilty and bad. And then I heard myself say to myself,
“Over the last five days you’ve eaten a whole bunch of food that was really bad for you.”
In that moment I paused, and I pondered those words. I was using language to make myself bad- language that made food bad.
And then my other side of me said to me…
“No! You didn’t eat food that was bad. You ate food that you don’t normally eat.”
There is nothing inherently wrong or bad about eating food you don’t normally eat. It’s not that you ate food that was “bad” for you. It’s just that you ate food that was different.
Recognizing that- from here I can move forward without making myself feel like I’ve been bad, or that I have somehow sinned against myself. I can just go back to eating the way I normally eat, and everything will be peachy. No big deal.
So, my thought today is to…
Start to watch your languaging around food (or around exercise, around labeling yourself as “bad” because you didn’t meet the goals or expectations you put on yourself).
You are not bad for eating something different.
When you catch your inner voice saying something was bad. Pause and remember that you aren’t required to put a label on things. Nothing has to be “good” or “bad”. It can just be different.
You have the ability to make choices about the food you eat. You also have the ability to make choices about how you speak about the food you eat, or just food in general (or any other thing your brain decides you should lable).
It’s ok for you NOT to eat the way you normally eat all-of-the-time.
It’s okay for you to eat foods you ate when you were growing up. It’s okay for you to eat treats that you enjoy. That’s all ok.
What you want to be really vigilant with, is that you aren’t beating or berating yourself for doing that.
If somehow, you’ve let yourself down by not eating the way you normally do- It is possible to love yourself through that?
Is it possible for you to love yourself through- the letting yourself down?